Quick Update

Privet vsem!

My summer plans have changed dramatically over the last few weeks. Basically I have decided to stay in the UK and intern at a well-known, national newspaper. (No guesses). So, i'm turning "fromrussiawithrob" into a place to comment on Russian news and culture from my angle. Please comment on what I write as without you i'm just an autocrat with a keyboard. And that would be dreadful!

sbasiba za vnimanie!

Episode 31: Do svidaniya but not goodbye

Ah, number 31. Was it Heraclitus who said that - “of all the numbers in the universe, 31 is the most forlorn”. No it was not. But it’s my forlorn number anyway, as fromrussiawithrob is temporarily saying poka poka to Russia. My year abroad is effectively over and tomorrow I will take my leave of sunny Moscow for the grey, drizzly summers of England.

What can I say comrades and comradettes? It’s been a blast. An emotional, geographical, linguistical adventure. There have been good times, there have been better times, there have been “i’m soooooo sad waaaaaaah” times, but when the smoke settles and the clichés finally stop flowing from my pen, i’ll surely remember, with fondness, every vatrushka s tvorogom and every nonsensical, grammatical mishap that befell me this last 9 months.

Me looking ecstatic about leaving Russia

I could make a greatest hits compilation, but that’s not for this post. All I wish to say is that I deeply loved Russia when I arrived, and I deeply love Russia now that i’m leaving. It is now far more to me than a classroom subject. It’s a country full of new friends and fond memories, and one that I will jump at the chance to return to in the future. I have loved writing this blog, finding new audiences both at home and abroad and will continue to do so again in the future...

...now that the credits are rolling, dear reader, please don’t feel this blog is dead and done for. There will be a special announcement in the next week or so regarding a little adventure I have planned for later in the summer. So stay tuned.

 My ego wishes me to make one more utterance before I leave, something that I said when this whole ball of bears started rolling. “Russia will never be boring” was my philosophy with this trip, and give yourselves a pat on the back rebyata, because you’ve lived up to it.

All the best

Rob

x

Episode 30: Saturday Super Sale

The hot bus was packed and wheezing down the dual carriageway. We were on our way to MEGA - a monolithic shopping complex on the outskirts of Moscow - and, by the looks of things, so was every other person in the city. After taking an hour to cover about 15 minutes of roadway we eventually emptied into the car-park of the huge mall. It was 10:55 pm and in 5 mins the Saturday Night of Super Sales would begin. I think I said this once before in this blog, but no one knows how to spend like Muscovites...

(1) River Island Aztec-like short sleeve shirt

MEGA spans three separate, giant buildings and contains just about every Russian and Western clothing outlet. There is also a massive IKEA inside half of one of those buildings, which I think gives a good idea of just how big we are talking. There is a massive food court where you can eat anything from sushi to mushroom risotto and you are given a map on entry by one of the attractive and strangely uniformed employees. 

This night was bizarre. DJ's played loud euro trance in the main hall and the escalators ran overtime with shopping-burdened consumers. Every couple of seconds someone would bump into someone else or set off the store security systems. The queue inside the New Yorker outlet was 40 minutes long with people trying to bribe those at the front of the queue to buy their items for them and save them the agony of standing in line. (My flatmate and his friend were totally suckered in this way by a trio of girls in club makeup with dyed hair.)

(2) Loud Zara Collection T-shirt 

Over the course of the night, which ran until 4am, we needed three fresh air breaks and several beers to keep us going. Exhausted customers outside the complex turned shopping trolleys onto their sides to create makeshift benches. 

We were exhausted, but overall the experience was worth it. Even the massive chains like Zara, Topshop and River Island offered 20% of nearly everything in store (including current season stock) and Russian clothing firms like Colin's and Sela had nearly 50% off all stock. We never even made it as far as the electronic section where perhaps we could have found ipods, cameras and games consoles with similar savings.

Standing in the midst of the bustle and rustle of shopping bags, I reflected on how unlikely it now seemed that this country ever was communist. This centre is a temple to capitalism. The art of the Super Sale itself is pure economic deception and even with the reduced prices, we were completely savvy to the fact we were still buying the goods at a tremendous mark up. These moral and psychological conundrums aside, what a show it was! I have never been to a superstore of this size in my life and, my clever purchases aside, just the experience of being out and about on a somewhat alternative Saturday night was amazing. Well, it beats clubbing in Torquay anyway... 

Me and what looks to be a brand-new Lenin Statue

Episode 29: Spring time for Moscow

In marked difference to the weather I experienced from January to April, Moscow spring has been lovely. Huge thunderstorms gather occasionally and disperse the gathering heat and mugginess with warm rain and shaken trees. Most days there is a present breeze and a manageable temperature. The has been shining nearly every day and my flat-mate and I have made good use of our balcony, mainly for wine drinking and bitchy conversations with our neighbour Katya.

Our Balcony and the trademark, Russian birch 

In Spring, the dress of Muscovites changes. Gone are the black-leather jackets and flat-caps on the men. Gone are the dreadful, patterned windbreakers on the women. Out come surprising splashes of colour, brave white shoes, plaid, stripes and nonsense print t-shirts. Even the shifty gangs of Caucasians on the metro brave the trends of fashion and whip out a pair of Aviators and some sock-less, purple loafers. In short, the city is transformed.

Roads you used to slip down are now in bloom. The trees are dressed up too and the air is filled with blossom, pollen and all sorts of treats for the hay-fevered. Markets have popped up more frequently along with street vendors selling corn-on-the-cob, fresh kvass and fizzy water. The families are out too. Parents push prams and toddlers sing and scream nursery rhymes on the boulevards.


The parks are open now, the smell of kebabs drifts over them. Businessmen sit on benches trying their best to not drip ice-cream onto their Armani suits and groups of student sit with guitars and textbooks. Two old men, probably rivals of 60 years, sit in front of a chess set and duel.

Someone told me that Moscow was lovely in Spring, they were right.

Episode 28: The one with the naked whipping or Rob goes to the banya

“Put your hands up!” said the large, naked man to my right.

“Good!’ he said and began pummelling me from behind with a birch branch.

I was, of course, in the “banya” or Russian bathhouse - a tradition as old as the hills and a true test for any traveller. Upon paying the chain smoking old man at the door for a two hour time slot, my Russian flatmate instructed me that now was the time for full frontal nudity. You can’t wear swimming shorts in the banya. Well you can but then everyone will paradoxically laugh at you.

It is somewhat similar to a Finnish sauna although far warmer. After toasting yourself for several minutes (I think I managed no more than 7 or 8 at a time) you either leap into a freezing pool of water or roll in the snow. The birch or oak branch beating is optional. I chose to do this partly out of my adventurous spirit and partly out of fear that the burly men around me would call me a coward. My being English was a subject of discussion and much amusement. There was nothing sinister about it; it is simply rare for the banya regulars to meet a foreigner this far off the Moscow tourist trail.

Once I had overcome the conservative attitude towards nudity that we seem to have in Britain I found my time there to be quite enjoyable. As well as the birch beating you get treated to two other Russian sauna oddities – felt hats, used to keep the heat away from your head, and large gulps of a drink called Kvass: a kind of lightly fermented beer that tasted like life itself in my dehydrated state.

You see some pretty grizzly stuff in the banya and end up feeling pretty weak from the constant hot-cold, hot-cold cycle, but you leave the banya feeling completely reborn. My roommate claims that a trip once a week will keep cold and flu away for life and to an extent I believe him.

There is something very Classical about the whole set up. Even in this “working man’s” banya it felt as much a cultural ritual as a medical one.  It was even bordering on being a social event or rite of passage - a man inducted his eight year old son to the tradition while I was there. As he withstood his first minute of blazing heat, knees shaking under the sweaty intensity, a rapturous applause erupted from everyone.

“He’ll be drinking his first beer soon!” a man joked.

I left with the sense that I have at last taken part in something truly Russian and something that I would cautiously recommend any adventurous traveller or slavophile to do. Ideally go with friends and go the whole hog the only thing you need to bring is a pair of flip flops…

Episode 27: Rob gets chased by riot police or an update on Moscow's political climate

The protesters on the other side of the river threw another riot police helmet into the murky water. An enormous cheer rose up from the crowd and I found myself joining in. I covered my mouth immediately. Oh good lord!" I thought, "I, a foreigner, cannot possibly be seen to get involved in this!" This is not directly my fight, but nonetheless, Moscow, my home for the next 3 months, is a bit of a battleground at the moment and I am somewhat in the thick of it.

Communist Party and "Leftist Front" flags as the protest built up

In going to observe the so-called "March of Millions" protest against the inauguration of Vladimir Putin as the country's new president, I had accidentally ended up a part of the protest. I watched from behind the front row as Police dragged Udaltsov and Navalny (two "leaders" of the opposition movement) off of the stage literally seconds into their speeches. Having distanced myself to the other side of the river, where I considered myself to be a safe distance from the actual, political action, I was suddenly aware of the large column of riot police marching facelessly towards the crowd gathered around me.

They rounded the corner and bore down on us. Despite having been given the official go-ahead, this protest, and anyone simply watching from the sidelines, was being broken up forcefully. "The allotted time for this event has passed," a Police announcer spoke, "Kindly leave the streets by the nearest metro." Before I knew it a line of more vehement protesters had began to charge the police, batons were drawn and scraps broke out. A man was hit with a baton. A policeman stumbled over a dustbin. People around me started to run. The crowd was made up of many different people: the middle-aged, the middle-class, the elderly, parents with their children and a lot of youths who really didn't want to see any violence. It was a shame that anyone had to get hurt; protesters or police. The image portrayed by certain television stations of the protesters being violent yobs paid for by NATO is both ridiculous and uninformed. The image portrayed by the protesters of the police being bloodthirsty and mismanaged is equally askew at times.

Riot Police blocking off the Kremlin (St Basil's in the background)

Needless to say there was not bloodshed or rioting on an epic scale. Protesters, including one extremely enraged babushka, drummed and tore up some corrugated-iron scaffolding, but on the whole the conduct of the police and protesters was not disproportionately savage. Eventually the police herded us towards the metro and the crowd broke up. I left the area quickly not wanting to risk accidental arrest. There was an ugly rumour going around all day of the police being given an arrest quota to act as a fear tactic with officers simply picking up anyone they could lay a hand on easily. I hope this is untrue.

The impression I have now is that Moscow, backed by new protest movements from Astrakhan and St Petersburg, is a city given another shot at a Spring-time rebellion. Tonight, all over Moscow, people are desperately trying to occupy squares and boulevards to prolong the action. The warm weather is on their side. As a foreigner, I know better than to get involved directly, and, as always, my opinion on this blog is something to be kept veiled. All I can conclude is that there is a deep and mostly peaceful unrest here, but things are getting more and mores desperate as well, on both sides of the political line.

more soon...

Episode 26: Confessions of a Moscow-holic or Rob isn't funny, just busy.

What a busy boy I have been! Just trying to live in this city is a full-time job and add on top of this my interning as a journalist, tutoring, replacing a stolen wallet and a million other adventures it's not really a surprise that fromrussiawithrob has been a bit quiet of late. Hopefully none of you thought i'd be dragged away to some Siberian prison cell in the wake of my last post. I am nothing but apologies for not having written sooner, but understand it's not just this part of my life that has been neglected.

Me in the window of an office building

My hair is currently dreadful! A kind of moppish flop, tortured by overgrowth and Moscow's biting wind. My wardrobe is looking a little shabby from the winter too. Boots and shoes need a decent scrub, but i've broken two brushes already just trying to get the snow and mud caking off. Alas.

So don't feel too bad, dear reader. Here is what you've been missing out on:

(1) Writing, interviewing, editing. See the Moscow Times for more details.

(2) Getting my wallet pinched. Actually, feel free to miss out on this one.

(3) Eating Uzbek Pasties. Fed up of the proposed Tory pasty taxes? Then come to Moscow and eat a spicy Uzbek pasty! Ideally get someone who knows where the best Uzbek cafes are to show you and order one. They are baked in a stone over called a Tandir or Tanbir (I forget at the moment of writing) and contain a mix of vegetables with lamb and beef mince. Moreish beyond belief...

(4) Interviewing sharp-suited Italian men in swanky hotels. (again, see Moscow Times for more details)

(5) Drinking too much free coffee in the employees kitchen.

(6) Hosting an 80's megamix of youtube videos on my facebook wall. 

(7) Watching Peter Hook recreate Joy Division in a Russian nightclub. Religious experience.

(8) Hitchhiking home with an old guy who tells me to vote communist even when I explain that I'm not actually a citizen of the Russian federation.

Novoslobodskaya Metro Station is neoclassically cool

(9) Drinking a bottle of gin with two guys from Kazakhstan. 

(10) Going to a 50's American diner tucked in near the Kremlin. 

(11) Joining an expensive gym and spending most of my nights in a Jacuzzi full of fat men in their pants. (they refuse to buy swimming shorts, it's awful)

(12) Joining an expensive gym and spending most of my nights in a sauna full of nice, funny people who are really interested why an Englishman has appeared in their neighbourhood (you win some, you lose some)

(13) Watching muscovites spend spend spend in the massive malls.

(14) Buying postcards from art galleries I visit.

(15) Watching video reviews of guitars I own and miss.

(16) Trying to get an internship at Russian wine magazine.

(17) Learning to ride the metro "like a student"

(18) Watching Spring trying to come out only to be put in its place by bizarre snowstorms.

Really nice looking apartment complex with cool balconies. Reminds me a little of Barcelona

(19) Beating a Russian at chess in the coolest cafe ever (more on that soon)

anyway yes. that'll do Rob.

poka!
x